What goes around, comes around

Last year, dh was very sad. His oldest daughter, a very smart and unfortunately very troubled young lady who had struggled with dually diagnosed mental health/substance issues for most of her life, died at age 32. It sent shock waves through his family, and resulted in estrangement from his younger daughter (the mother of his grandchildren, ages 2 and 4 whom he adores, and rightly so-they are wonderful little girls).

Anyway, at Christmas last year, I decided to get him a dog. I know, I know, the one thing they say you are never supposed to get anyone for Christmas, is a dog. Not fair to the dog, not fair to the person. Too much going on and all of that. Undeterred, I researched dog breeds. I went in search of a mid sized, mellow animal who wouldn't shed too much and who would love dh and be his buddy all day while he worked in his garden, would ride around town with him in his truck etc. Dh loves to take our cat, Carmine, around town in the truck, to the drive-through at the bank, etc, but that can get ticklish when the truck window is open. I found the perfect breed of dog for us, a soft coated Wheaten terrier. I found a breeder not too far away, made an appointment, and went to visit the kennel. They had 2 year-old males, who had only lived in the kennel and were not trained or housebroken at all yet. One was called Einstein by the breeder, because he had figured out how to open all of the kennel doors with his nose, and proved it by doing so the first day I was there. The kennel was a blur of blond fur as dogs raced around, going in and out of kennel runs. It was pretty funny to watch the breeder trying to corral everyone back into the designated run. The other dog was a lovable but VERY mellow guy called Spot, because he had a spot on his back. I decided on Einstein. I went back several times to visit, and bought every conceivable dog accoutrement in anticipation of the BIG DAY. On Christmas Eve, I told dh I had a surprise for him and needed him to come for a ride with me. We went to the kennel. He met Einstein (I preferred to call him Wheatie) and we all went home. Wheatie had diarrhea in the car before we left the street. Things kind of went from bad to worse once we got home. Wheatie had never stepped foot on anything other than grass or concrete at the kennel. At and around our house, we have several textures - carpets in different pile lengths, wood floors, brick pavers, mulch, zoyza grass. Wheatie didn't want any part of this, was really having a huge adjustment. So was dh. Wheatie liked ME better, since I had bonded with him on my visits, and didn't pay any attention at all to dh. A friend of dh's called, who happens to have some kind of water spaniel, a totally different dog!!! and freaked dh out with all kinds of tales of how high strung blah blah blah Wheatons were, and how you had to have a firm hand training them, right from the beginning. So dh decided to take a firm hand with him. (not literally, just stern voice, commands, etc.) And here is this sweet, mellow, bewildered creature. Anyway, the upshot was, dh, under extreme emotional duress anyway, could not handle the stress and unknown havoc that he had been told this dog would wreak on his life. Wheatie went back to the breeder the next morning. I of course, had my heart broken into little pieces. But I did not chose Wheatie over dh. Thought about it briefly, but did not. I understood dh's pain, and reluctantly decided it was a good idea in theory that had not worked out due to poor timing. My whole intention had been to provide comfort and peace, not to escalate his distress.

So life went on, as it does. Dh and I have a best friend, who was married but got divorced about 3 years ago. We used to do a lot together, the 4 of us, but since his divorce, it has just been the 3 of us. We have dinner together every Friday night. We all went to Italy together last summer. We have a great time, but I have often wished he would meet a wonderful woman whom he could love and I could be friends with. This summer, he met Janie. We LOVE Janie. Now the 4 of us go out for dinner every Friday night. Janie has a dog. He is a Wheaton Terrier. His name is Bill. I have a new man in my life!!!